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Living With Bipolar Type 1 Disorder

      Living with this disease is hard….. Everyday I wake up, I struggle…. I struggle to get up I struggle, to wake up, I struggle to get dressed, I struggle to do the normal day to day things that regular people take for granted. It is rough.  It took a lot of trial and error a lot of different medications and a lot of awesome support from the people closest to me.

     When you have a family like mine, one that is not always supportive or supportive when they want to be; it is hard to come out and express to them how you are feeling or how you are struggling. I am in pain every single day but no one knows it, no one sees just how much pain I in. But i wonder does anyone even care. Does anyone even care to look, to notice the change. 

       Today I take 2 different medications just to be able to function and get through life on a day to day basis; along with a bunch of other medications for migraines and for allergies. But my two main medications are what helps me handle normal everyday life. Without these medications I would not be able to do anything and sometimes I feel sad, like what went wrong with me that I am this way. But once I investigated I found out that these issues I have these problems run in my dads and my moms side of the family. Even though no one wants to talk about them and its all hush hush, these are very real problems that could have saved me a lot of grief had I know ahead of time I could have protected myself.  But now i am at a point in my life where I am happy I am finally living life for me and that is what the most important thing is. I exercise on a regular basis, I have changed my diet, I am happier then I have ever been and now that my condition is controlled I know it is only up from here; I have a positive outlook on life and I know nothing is going to stop me now. 

         I can not stress enough how important getting help for yourself is. I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist and there is nothing wrong with that. I know so people will make you feel like that is wrong or like its a problem, but its not. What is wrong is, if you have a problem like certain people in my family and you do not get help for it, and everyone in the family knows about this and your problems, but they are left to be swept under the rug and not taken care of. This is the real issue we have in America today. People put such a stigma on getting help, like oh there must be something wrong with that one she sees a doctor or oh you don’t want to mess with that one she is crazy and that’s not fair. No one should be allowed to make you feel like less of a person or a wrong person for getting help. Despite my family’s stigmas i got help and now i’m living a full life with someone who cares deeply about me and we are happy. It is so important to get help, I can not stress that enough; I am looking to break down those walls that people put up about this topic because it is something that needs to be discussed on a regular basis. This is something normal people suffer from everyday, and I am choosing to say it stops with me. I am done with the name calling, and the poking fun, and the stigmas. So people please do yourself and your family a favor and get help if you need it.  It only can better your life… 

August 3, 2020

Written by: Amanda Paige Medina

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