Lately my depression has been kicking my butt. In spite of everything i have been feeling so down and just out of it. Sometimes i feel things are going good with my relationship other times i feel like i am messing everything up. Sometimes i feel like i am the best mom ever other times i feel like i am screwing that up too. Work is crazy busy but going great and I am still battling on with my health. So for the most part you would look at me and think oh life is great. But for some reason i am just not feeling it. I am feeling down and sad and lonely. I am feeling like no one understands me or what i have going on at times. i have very limited people that i talk to and very limited friendships (on purpose because people suck LOL) but it does become hard at times. I always end up feeling like a burden. I always end up feeling like i do not want to vent to this person because i dont want them to feel sorry for me. But that is my depression talking. People tell me they are there for me but in my head my depression tells me no. IT tells me i a alone, it tells me to be sad and down, it tells me to not be who i really am or trust my full self with others because they will not understand. Depression is a scary thing. A lot of people still do not understand it. THey think oh you are sad “read a book, take a bath, watch tv, oh just be happy” All things i have heard from people who simply just don’t understand and are not trying to. What i find helps me is to not let those people get to you and as hard as it might be do one thing, just one thing that will put a smile on your face and make you a little happy. Hug your dog/cat, go for a walk, lay down, take a nap, take a bubble bath with a LOT of bubbles, meditate, try something new, eat a snack. When you are depressed sometimes the best thing to do is just take a step back and relax.
I also would suggest a therapist. Sometimes speaking to a professional really helps. I grew up in a family where therapy was taboo, it was not spoke about and if people found out you went to therapy they made fun of you and called you crazy. Now that i am an adult i see it much differently and i suggest it to everyone. DO not allow others to keep you from getting the help you need and that will benefit you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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August 21, 2020
Written By: Amanda Paige Medina