Looking Back…

Photo by Alex Azabache

Doing you ever take a second to look back on your life; To look back and see how things used to be? how far you have come? where did you come from? where are you going? what type of person you are becoming? are you moving forward or backwards? 

I was sitting today because i had some down time and I took it as a moment to reflect. To reflect on my life and how far I have come. I think to often we do not give ourselves enough credit. We have this little person in our heads that constantly is telling us to do better, be better, act better; Make more money, lose weight, try harder. I know for me this little person inside my head is just never satisfied. The little person inside my head is always telling me I need to do better and that can be mentally draining at times. It can be emotional, it can be a deterrent to what I am trying to accomplish in life, it can be really hard. So i think it is important and i constantly am reminding myself, that it is okay to cut myself a break from time to time. It is okay to cut myself a little bit of slack. I get so hung up on all the little things, whether big or small, I always want to be perfect, I always want to do everything myself and Take over the world. Which is perfectly fine and I will never stop trying to take over the world, but I think it is okay to trust in others a little bit now too. Cut myself a break from time to time and sit down, slow down, drink some hot chocolate while watching the sunset, read a book, lay down, start to write. Just doing little things that help give myself a break. 

I have to give myself credit because i have come so far. When i look back on the last 5 years of my life, from what i can remember, I really have come a long way. I went from financially struggling, barely making it, barely living paycheck to paycheck, abusive relationship, Mentally unstable, couldn’t make it through my day, behind on bills because i couldn’t pay them all. Basically just really struggling and not making it in life. I was so severely depressed and suicidal i did not even know if i was going to make one day to the next. Now fast forward five years to where I am now. Own my own house, my own car, Amazing job with unlimited growth opportunity, financially stable and not struggling anymore, not living paycheck to paycheck, all my bills are paid and on time, there is food in the fridge, healthy relationship status, mentally feeling good, on medication and bipolar disorder is controlled. Just overall in a much better place, mentally, emotionally and financially. My health is still a work in progress, but because everything else in my life seems to be falling into place that is a problem I can deal with. I am so much happier now then the person I used to be. The person I used to be was just so done with life. She was not happy she actually was miserable. And i forget sometimes to be proud of myself. To be proud of all the hard work I have put in, To be proud of how far I have come, To be proud of all the opportunities I have taken advantage of that have helped shape me into the person I am still becoming and grow. We have to take time to be proud of ourselves. Give ourselves credit where credit is due. And as I sit here and reflect I can’t help but be proud of the woman I have become so far and the woman I still am growing into. Everyday I push a little harder, Everyday I come a little further, And everyday I become A little bit more proud of me. 

I am Open and Ready To attract Abundance into my Life 

I am looking forward to what is coming today 

I set smart goals and I take action

I focus on what Matters

I am a powerful Person

I accomplish what i set out to do 

I am living my Dream

I am living my Full Potential 

I express my Creativity 

September 18, 2020

Written By: Amanda Paige Medina


Author: Amanda Paige

I am a 30 year old woman, i have two children and i work full time. I am far from normal, but that is a good thing. I go through everyday challenges with friends, family, loved ones, and work just like any other person would. But at the end of the day I am me and no one is going to change that. Your true happiness is all that matters at the end of day. Life may not be fair but you can sure make it fun!! Living my best life; Life is long so make sure you live every day to the fullest Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or Licensed Psychologist please seek help if you need it.

One thought on “Looking Back…”

  1. Yea ! Don’t forget to give yourself credit for how far you’ve come. I know me I have BPD and it’s so hard sometimes for me to do this. Thanks for the reminder


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