Being in a relationship just two is hard, but then try adding someone else. Now you have extra emotions, extra thoughts, extra opinions, extra feelings, and a whole additional person. There is so much beauty to polyamory, but there is also a lot of work involved when you take on a relationship this way. You go through everyday life struggles but times 3. You go through up’s and downs but times 3. Everyone has to be on the same page and everyone has to make sure there voice is heard. Everyone has to feel important and like they matter. I believe that’s why a lot of polyamorous relationships tend to have so many issues especially when they are first starting out. The two people who are what we will call the “core” of the original relationship, now have to open up and allow someone else in. They have been together for years, built this bond, have all these secrets, jokes, things between the two of them and now they have to open up to allow a third person in. They have to bring that person in on there “secrets”, there jokes, the insiders, there “things” that where once just the two of them and sometimes one or both partners just don’t know how to do that. This then causes the additional person to feel left out, to feel like they are alone or like a burden, it causes them to not feel included and sad. If not done right polyamory can be a destructive situation for all involved, but especially for the addition that you try to bring into your home. You can end up with broken promises and crushed dreams. Sorrow and a whole lot of pain, leaving one person feeling like there life will never be the same. That is one side to it.
Now the other side of polyamory, the more beautiful side, the side that first attracted me to it; is the concept of family. You are not just building a relationship, you are building an empire, a family. Three or more people come together with the concept of mutual respect for one another. this concept that they are in this crazy thing we call life together and they are going to have each others backs and make it work. You might fight, but you make up, you might be sad but you love; And you create a bond so strong that you guys can conquer anything and everything that comes your way. It’s the concept of creating your own family that was so attractive to me. The fact that you can love not just one person but two people so deeply that you are willing to share your deepest darkest secrets with them, you are willing to trust them with everything you are and it creates this beautiful love. You laugh, you joke, you travel, you try new things, you make memories, the best kind life is made of and these two people become your whole world. This is the other side, the side not often showed or portrayed on social media because most people will have you believe that this is not the way to love, this is not the way to build a life or a family. But when done correctly, polyamory can be a beautiful and wonderful thing.
August 29, 2020
Written By: Amanda Paige Medina